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9. Do I need to get a registry gift if I'm in the wedding party and already spending a lot of money?
A little secret? Technically, nobody has to buy anyone wedding gift. So while it's not necessarily required, it's always a nice (and expected) gesture. “Etiquette’s all about thinking ahead,” says Smith. Make a list of all the upcoming expenses―shower, bachelorette party, dress, transportation, and lodging―and budget accordingly. Even if you only have a small amount left for a gift, Smith recommends at least giving a little something such as a book of love poems, bottle of bubbles, or a framed picture.
10. Do I need to buy gifts for both the shower and the wedding?
Yes. “That’s part of the obligation you agreed to when you RSVP for both events,” Kingsdorf says. Consider going in on a group gift with fellow guests in the same position to help lessen the cost for each person.
11. They’re registered for a product that costs much less at another retailer—is it okay to send them that one?
There’s no reason not to try to save money, Black says. Purchase and ship it well before the wedding so the couple will knows to remove it from their registry.
12. What's the best way to find out where the bride and groom are registered if it’s not on their invitation or website?
Just ask! It’s completely acceptable to reach out to the couple, or even better, to members of the wedding party, or even the couples’ parents, Smith says. You can also try a quick search of the couples’ names on the usual wedding registry sites.
13. Is it acceptable to split an expensive item with a group of friends?
Definitely. Just be careful, warns Smith, because group gifts can get sticky. The more people involved, the more complicated it can get. Make sure you decide upfront whether everyone is contributing the same amount (and, if not, how the price tag is getting divided), who is collecting the money, and who’s purchasing the gift.
14. Registries feel so impersonal. Is there any way to make a registry gift more meaningful?
It’s all about the message in the card. If you bought a vase, for example, Smith recommends saying something like, “Congratulations on your wedding! May this vase be filled with flowers on special occasions, and, occasionally, just because.”
Join us next week for more wedding tips on Lets Go Big Tunes blog page